Sashay, just friends?
by Tessa.FMD
Summary: Smut.
1. unscripted

**Hello, people. So I've been wanting to write a (Sashay) smut for a while now and I finally did it** **It's a one shot, so I will most likely not make this a full story. (unless you guys really want me to, but I don't expect that.) Okay, and uhh, I hope you like this story? I don't know, I worked really hard on it and I apologize already for any mistakes made in this. (warning: there's** _ **profanities**_ **and** _ **smut**_ **– obviously – in this story, so nothing cute and cuddly)**

 **Have a nice day! xx**

It's an extremely hot day in California, raindrops are clattering against the window and I hear a loud thunderclap in the distance. It makes me start and I wake up from my daydream.

'1, 2, 3-', I count the seconds between the clap and the lightning, '4, 5-', my counting gets interrupted when my poorly lighted room suddenly gets lit up with a boost of white light coming from a lightning bolt. It only lasts for maybe half a second, but it's still peaceful to me. I've always loved thunderstorms, they make me so calm. I feel the cold wind on my back coming from the air-conditioning right behind me. I can hear faint beats of Troian's music playing in the background, since her dressing room is right next to mine. It's something soft, Indie like. I hear Ashley and Tyler laughing hysterically from their shared dressing room down the hallway - about something stupid, probably – and I sigh, thinking about how badly I will miss this cast and running lines in my too hot room while watching the raindrops fall down, after we're done shooting these last two seasons of _Pretty Little Liars_.

Then I hear it, she walks down the hall, she's on the phone with someone, I think. Her voice makes my heart beat fifty times faster, and the butterflies I feel in my stomach are unstoppable. Do you know that feeling you get when you're in a rollercoaster and you're about to fall down that scary first drop you feared so much, but when the ride's over you want to go again and again and again, just because you're addicted to that feeling, the fear and excitement that it gives you? Well, she gives me that feeling. Sasha Pieterse is my rollercoaster.

'Yes, I will. OK. Yeah, I'll call you later. Love you too, Hudson. Bye.', I overhear her say. My mood immediately drops when she says his name. Every time I hear his name I automatically roll my eyes, I can't help it. Then I hear a soft and quick knock on my door.

'Come in!', I say.

Someone opens the door and walks in, almost making no sound.

'Hey Shay, is it okay if I stay with you for a bit? The air-co in my room just broke and I don't want to bother the others since they're all busy and you looked like you were doing nothing, so I thought well-'

'It's okay, Sasha.', I laugh. 'I needed some company anyway.'

She flashed me a smile. Her teeth were perfectly ordered and they were white, but not a 'hey-I'm-a-Hollywood-star-white' white. Just normal. My eyes wandered to her dimples, then to her chin. I loved all of her features, I couldn't get enough of her. I realized I was staring at her so I cleared my throat to try and play it off.

'Do you want something to drink? You look like you're hot.', I say to her.

She did look like she was hot. Her hair was in a messy bun, she was wearing a teal tank top and washed-denim shorts. Her cheeks had a hint of a light shade of pink in them and her body was glistering, because she was sweating a little. She looked mesmerizing, I couldn't take my eyes of her.

'Yes, oh, my god, I'd kill for some water right now.', she tells me, 'Hey, do you mind if I put on a show or something to watch on Netflix? We only have to shoot again in two hours, an Emison scene', she tells me and then smirks. _'She won't be the one smirking when I'm done with her'_ , I think to myself.

'Oh, sure, choose whatever you want, I literally love every genre.', I say, my head sticking above the mini fridge door where I'm crouching in front of to grab some water bottles for us both.

'By the way, an Emison scene, really?', I say as I walk back to the couch where Sasha's already sitting. I hand her the bottle.

'Yes', she laughs, 'the writers finally listened to the fans. It was about time, right?'

'Damn right.', I say, sitting down next to Sasha, 'so, what are we watching?'

'Orphan Black. It's my favorite.'

We watch the episode in peace, only complaining a couple of times about how the weather is abnormally hot. Sasha grabs my hand every time there's a scary part or when there's a loud sound because of the storm. I love when she does that, she has chosen me to keep her safe. Our legs are touching the entire time and I feel electricity running all along my thigh. I wonder if she feels the same way. When we finish watching she asks me if we could read the script one more time and practice the scene together. I agree and we both get the stuff we need. Throughout the entire scene I can't stop looking at her lips, they just look so, I don't know, _kissable._ Sasha notices it, but she continues anyway. My eyes are constantly wandering between those oh so kissable and soft lips, and her eyes. I can't describe what color they are exactly, something ocean, deep baby blue-ish. I can look into her eyes forever, getting lost in them, looking at the way they sparkle when she laughs or-

'Shay?', she brings me out of my thoughts, 'you have to say your line now.'

'Oh, yeah, sorry.', I apologize, blushing a little.

'It's okay.'

She gives me a reassuring smile. I can see her dimples again. God, I love this girl. I don't say my line, though. It's all silent for a moment. We look into each other's eyes and I can just feel that she wants me too, like I want her. My eyes drift off to her lips again. I know she knows I am looking at them. The only things I hear now are her soft breathing and my own heart beats. I can smell her sweet perfume, she's so close to me now. I catch myself thinking _'Fuck it, Shannon, just do it. Kiss her now.'_ And I couldn't find a reason not to, everything felt right in this moment. I very slowly lean in and kiss her. Her warm cheeks in my hands, both of our eyes closed. We stay like that for a couple of seconds, she's the one to pull away first.

'That wasn't-', she says out loud, but then realizes we were still only inches away from each other and she continues in a whisper, 'That wasn't scripted.'

'I know', I whisper back.

We make eye contact. We stay like that for a while, silent and admiring each other's beauty. I see the lust in her eyes, I probably look the same way to her. Then she leans in again, but this time with more force and passion. It takes me a second to react, my head spinning. I kiss her back and It feels like our lips were made for each other, like we belong in some way. Our mouths move in sync and her hand rests on my shoulder, grabbing a little fabric of my shirt. Her other hand rests on my neck. It feels like my body's on fire and I can't get enough of it. Can't get enough of her. My hands are holding her hips, her shirt lifted a bit so I can touch her bare skin. I can feel goose bumps forming under my touch and it surprises me a little that I have this effect on her, but it feels so good. Without even noticing, I'm exploring her mouth with my tongue. She tastes sweet, yet spicy. I can't really pin it out, but it makes me crave to taste all of her, in every place. We have to stop to catch our breaths for a short moment and I take this as an opportunity to make her sit on my lap. When she kisses me again I grab her ass and I can feel her moan into my mouth. The kiss is clumsy, but perfect. Our opened mouths are moving against each other, tongues fighting. I bite her lip and she tilts her head back, pleasure clearly readable from her squeezed shut eyes. I start to kiss her neck, sucking hard, but then licking her skin to prevent giving her a hickey. I only want to give her hickeys in the places I – and only I – can see them.

'Shay, uhm.'

I look up to Sasha's face and she nods at the still opened door.

'Oh. Yes, wait a second.', I say and stand up to close the door. When I've locked it, I turn around, but I'm not sitting back down to make out with her again.

'Undress.', I command.

'What?'

'You heard me right, do it.'

She looks surprised because of my bold move, but she starts to undress anyway.

'But leave your underwear on.', I tell her.

When she's done, she lays down on my couch, closely looking at every move I make. I take a second to take in all of her beauty. She's wearing red lace underwear, that make her boobs look great. My eyes follow all her curves and birth marks and everything hid under where normally her clothes would be.

'You're stunning.', I whisper, mostly to myself than to her.

She just smiles. But soon that smile fades away and she gets a serious expression. I can see her eyes roaming over my body, like my hands were roaming over her body just a moment ago. I slowly walk over to the couch and lay on top of her. My hands on either side of her head, holding my body up. I stare at her blue orbs one last time, before closing my eyes and kissing her. Hard. I can feel her hands on my back, pulling at my shirt. After a moment I finally pull of my shirt too, after that I immediately kiss her again. Our stomachs and boobs are touching and she starts to grind on my leg. I pin her hands above her head and kiss from her mouth, to the place just in front of her right ear. I nib her earlobe and she lets out a quiet, long moan.

'Shay..', She whimpers, as I kiss along her jaw line to just under her chin.

'Do you like that, baby?', I say, kissing down her throat, giving a kiss after every word I say. All she does is nod. I give her wet kisses down to the middle of her chest. Her breathing is uneven and her chest is heaving. I look up to her face and look into her eyes, she's desperate. I love feeling like this, torturing her in a soft way. I love feeling powerful and being a little possessive.

'Unclasp your bra for me.', I demand.

She does as I say and I slowly slide my hands under her bra straps who are now laying loosely on her shoulders. I slide them down her arms in a very slow tempo, my eyes never leaving hers while doing it. When her bra is finally off, I start to circle her nipple with my tongue, sometimes biting a little on it. Moans escape Sasha's mouth and her chest is his going up and down in a fast speed, since her breathing has increased even more now.

'Shay, fuck.', she says in a way that turns me on more than anything. I can feel myself getting wetter and wetter. I lick all the way down her stomach, stopping just on her lower abdomen.

'Do you want me, baby?', I ask in a seductive way, already knowing the answer. I'm talking in the sexiest tone I can produce. Slow, deep and quiet.

'Mhmm.'

'I want a proper answer.'

'Yes, Shay. Fuck, I want you.', she's almost begging at this point.

'Well, you'll have to be just a little more patient.', I tease.

I pick up her right leg and kiss from her ankle all the way to the inside of her thigh, which causes moans and swear words to be regularly released by Sasha. I seductively look into her eyes and I can see she wants me, craves me. In every way possible. I change her right leg to her left and I do the same with this one.

'All mine.' I say kissing her thigh, dangerously close to her center.

'You're all mine,', I tell her again, 'understand?'

'Yes, babe,', she nods, still staring at me with that desperate look in her eyes, 'I'm all yours.'

'OK, good girl.'

'You're all mine to play with,', I say, driving her even crazier, 'Mine to kiss,', I say before kissing her just above her panty. She moans my name. Oh, how I love that sound.

'Mine to tease.', I say, running my finger along her still fabric covered slit. Sasha lets out a shaky breath after moaning hard. I can feel her wetness through it and I groan, loving the feeling.

'Please, Shay. I need you to touch me, I can't take it any longer.'

I decide to give in and I take her panties in my teeth, keeping eye contact the entire time. I bite and drag it down, revealing her naked pussy. I can see the arousal dripping down her center and I gasp.

'You're so wet for me. That's so fucking hot.', I say. She bites her lip and I smirk. I know exactly what I'm doing to her. I start licking her clit in slow movements, receiving a loud moan from Sasha in response. I look into her eyes, though it doesn't have any sense, because her eyes are closed in pleasure. I press my tongue down harder and harder each time, sometimes sucking on her clit. Sasha matches my movements by grinding her hips to the rhythm we are in. I lick down her center and stick my tongue inside of her. This surprises her. Good.

'Ah yes, fuck, baby. Right there.', she begs, eyes still closed.

I slowly stick my middle finger inside of her too now, making her gasp.

'Yes, oh, my god.', she can barely say.

I pump my finger faster and faster, making her squirm and grab my hair pushing me even deeper inside of her. I look up and see her holding herself up on her elbows, head thrown back. Her chest is sweating and I can feel myself dripping wet right now. I slid in a second finger and Sasha responds with a series of moans and swear words. My mouth is circling her clit once again, and by the way she folds her brow and seeing her chest go up and down in an extreme high tempo, I can tell she's close.

'I'm..I..', she can't even form a normal sentence anymore, but I'm just going to see how she tries to, letting her suffer a little. 'I'm cl.. clo- Oh shit!', she screams when I increase my speed just a little bit more.

'I'm so close, Shay. Oh, god, don't fucking stop.', she says, now gasping for air again. She grabbed the fabric of the couch and this is the right moment to say it.

'Come for me, baby girl.', I say, my warm breath landing on her - now nearly drained - center. This makes her back lift from the couch, head still thrown back. Her neck vein is more swollen than normal and her head is a little red. She doesn't say a word, she's not even able to breathe for a short moment. Her hips jerking out of control and her toes curled. After a while, she releases the breath she was holding and laid flat on her back. She blew out some air every now and then, making her breathing even again.

'Shit.', she breathes.

I slowly slip out my fingers, making her gasp a little again. I look her straight in the eyes and put my fingers in mouth, never losing eye contact. I lick every single bit of Sasha's arousal of my fingers and I let out a moan. It tastes salty, but sweet. There's something else about it, but I'm not sure what it is, it's something only Sasha has. Tasting her like this makes me want to fuck her again and harder and never stop touching her in the way I only can.

'So,', I say, breaking the silence, 'do you want to come here running lines with me more often?'


	2. Showers of love

**Hellloooo babies, some of you have asked me to write another chapter and I mean, why the hell not? Come on, it's Sashay smut. Sadly** _ **I'm not making this a full story**_ **, so this will probably be the last chapter (so a two shot). This chapter is once again sexual *wink* and it contains swear words, so be prepared. Uhm, I hope you enjoy reading! I apologize for any mistakes.**

 **Have a nice day! X Tess**

It's about eleven in the evening and I've just finished filming my last scene for today. The weather has cooled down a bit, I'm glad it's not as hot as it was earlier. I'm sitting on the black couch in my dressing room and there's a Beyoncé song softly playing in the background. _Obviously_.

'See you tomorrow morning, Shay!', I hear Sammy, my assistant, say.

Normally Sammy comes home with me to help with whatever work I have left to do for that day, but today she doesn't. I didn't even ask her why, I'm just happy I can be alone - well, not so alone, because I have the lovely company of my dog, Angel, but whatever - for a while.

'Shay?', I hear Sammy say again, in a rather annoyed, but also kind of worried voice.

'Oh yeah, sorry. See you tomorrow.', I say and give her a smile. She smiles back and gives me a quick hug. When she's closed the door and finally left, I let out a long sigh. I have been thinking about Sasha all day. After our, how do I say it, 'scene rehearsal', she told me she needed to leave and practically sprinted out my room. We just shot the Emison scene together, it wasn't really anything big, like a kiss or something, but I still felt like she was uncomfortable with being in my presence. I hope she's not. I mean, she seemed to enjoy our little moment earlier today, but maybe she's just a good liar. I fucked up real bad if I did anything to her she didn't want me to do. _Nice one, Shay_. All this worrying and thinking gives me a headache, so I decide to go take a shower and rinse all the stress and (now already dried up) sweat away. There's a big bathroom/shower place on set, so I can shower there. I hope no one else had the same idea as me, because I'm not really in the mood to chit chat with anyone while being butt naked and fucking tired, so I hope for the best. While walking to the shared washing room, I see some people I know and silently greet them as I walk by. _'Fucking annoying bitches'_ , I think. Everyone always thinks I'm this super positive person, which is true, but right now I just hate myself and everyone around me. I hurt the girl I fell madly in love with and I don't know if she'll forgive me. I didn't even realize I arrived at the shower place, since I was so deep in thoughts. I walk inside and I say a quick, silent prayer in my head, hoping no one is there. I look up and gladly, I see an empty room. I let out a sigh of relief and fully step inside. There's a sink and a big mirror right in front of the door and a big shower place to my right. There are about twenty showerheads and I imagine why, because why the hell would twenty people shower at the same time? I walk over to the sink and lay down all the things I need, shampoo, shower gel, a towel. I undress and look back in the mirror. I purse my lips and blow out some air. The fogginess that the hot water from the showers caused makes the room damp and hot, like a sauna, and I feel my cheeks heat up. The last time they did that it was from another kind of hotness, a hotness only Sasha Pieterse can bring me. I shake my head a little to try and shake those thoughts away and decide to put on some music. I plug my iPhone in my speaker and select a playlist. I got thousands of them, _gym_ , _relaxation_ , _dance_ , _boxing_ , to name a few. Today I'm in a slow-song-mood, but no sad songs, I'm already sad enough. Only one playlist fits my expectations perfectly then. _Sexual_. I click play and I hear the first tones of a song. It's a piano and immediately know what song it is.

' _I look and stare so deep in your eyes'_ , I hear the soft voice sing. I quietly hum along.

' _I touch on you more and more every time'_ , the next lyric says. I love this song so much, it's the title song of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ , though I don't like the movie itself. Too cliché. I obviously prefer Beyoncé's version of this song, but this one's more calm and that's what I need right now. I let down my hair, since it was in a ponytail, and I walk to the showers. I pick one on the right and once I'm there, I pull down the handle to release the hot, steamy water. As soon as the water hits me and hugs my tight, stressed muscles, I let out a soft groan. I relax and close my eyes for a little while, just enjoying this moment of peace. I roll my neck and let the water come everywhere. I put a little bit of shampoo on my hand and rub it in my long, dark brown hair. I love the smell of the shampoo, it's something orange, citrus-like. It's refreshing. I step under the flow of water again and wash out all the soap. I turn around and stay like that for a while, eyes closed, water streaming down my face and listening to the songs playing in the background. Suddenly I feel a pair of hands covering my eyes.

'What the-', I start to yell while turning around, but stop when I see who's behind me.

'Fucking shit, you scared me.', I say in a pissed off tone, 'How long have you been here?'

'Long enough .', she says before winking at me.

'Shut up, Ashley. Jesus.'

Don't get me wrong, I love Ashley, but sometimes she annoys the shit out of me. That's just friendship, I guess. We don't even care that we're naked anymore, we've seen each other like this many times before. Not like that, no, she's my best friend and we always shower and go swimming together, nothing more.

'Ash, I love you, but can you please give me some privacy? I really need some alone time right now.', I tell her.

'Oh, alone time, I see. Don't you want some Buttahbenzo time?', she asks and seductively raises her eyebrows a few times and she exaggeratedly bites her lip. She bursts into laughter and I start to laugh now, too.

'Shut up.', I laugh at her.

'Come on, the sexy music, being all alone and naked in the showers at your work, you're actually really dirty, aren't you, Shannon?', she jokes and laughs to herself. I know she's not serious, but I can't help but think of all the wet dreams and thoughts I've had about Sasha. I'm dirtier than she knows... Sometimes they're about me fucking Sasha, sometimes it's the other way around. I feel myself getting wet just by thinking of Sasha licking me in certain places.

'You know that's not what I meant.', I answer her.

'Yeah, I get it. Well, I won't bother you anymore then. See you tomorrow.', she says and she makes a kiss gesture with her hand to me. She puts on a towel, yes, just a towel, and steps out of the room. Wow, typical Ashley. I turn around again so the water falls right on my face. I hear the door open again followed by Ashley calling my name.

'Yeah?', I answer, not even bothering to turn around this time.

'That booty, though.', she says. I hear her burst into laughter again and I can't help but laugh a little too.

'Fuck off, Ashley!'

'Okay, okay. Damn.', she laughs and walks away. I can still hear her laughing when she's outside, but it slowly fades away. I figured she now really left this time. I close my eyes, but open them again after a moment. I feel weird, like there's someone else in the room. Then I see it, in the corner of my eye I see Ashley's blonde hair. _'That bitch.'_ , I think to myself. I try to act like I didn't notice her.

'Ashley I swear to f-', I yell while making a 180˚ turn. I stop. 'Sasha.'

'Hey.', she says softly.

'Sorry, I didn't realize it was you. Aren't you mad at me?', I ask.

'No, actually I was looking for a good time to be alone with you.', she says. It looked like something changed about her when she said that. Her voice became sterner and her eyebrows raised more than usual. I would be lying to myself if I said that didn't turn me on.

'What do you mean?, I ask carefully.

'I have been waiting to return the favor.' I know what she's talking about, but I still have a lot of questions.

'What are we? Aren't you uncomfortable with me, and what about Hud-', she stops me there.

'Don't… say his name.'

'What are we, Sasha?'

'Friends,', she says. I feel my heart drop, I don't want to be just friends.

'with benefits.', I look up at her again, a little surprised. She's smirking. I can live with being her fuck buddy. I mean, at least I can have her in that way, right.

'I can live with that.', I tell her honestly.

'Oh, can you?'

Fuck. Her being so possessive makes me get that tingling feeling in my stomach, this time not because of the butterflies.

'We need to make your muscles a little looser before we can have hardcore sex, don't we, baby girl?', she smirks. Her bold moves surprise me but I'm enjoying it. A lot.

'I have been looking forward to this.', she says while putting a little shower gel on her hand. She tries to make as much eye contact as possible and I feel myself getting hornier and hornier every second. She walks over to me, my eyes never leaving hers, and she turns me around. She starts to massage my back and I relax into her touch. When she's done, she steps forward, pressing her chest into my back. Her hands slowly slide from my stomach to my thighs and she repeats that pattern a few times. I feel her nipples harden against my back. Shit.

'I need you to turn around for me, princess.'

I turn around and I see Sasha checking me out and biting her lip.

'Come here.', she demands.

I do as she says and she grabs my neck and kisses me. She wastes no time on waiting and she pushes her tongue in my mouth. This sudden feeling surprises me – she's all about surprising me today – and I moan right into her mouth. Her hands find my ass and she squeezes it, it feels amazing. She pulls me even closer to her, which I thought wasn't even possible anymore.

'Sasha, I need you.'

I can't take it anymore.

'Now already? I'm not even half done teasing you.'

I can see the desire and lust in her eyes. Her pupils are bigger than normal and she has a daring look. In one smooth move she pushes me against the wall and pins my hands above my head, my wrists crossed over each other, so I can't make a single move anymore. She holds my hands with her left hand, her right is now playing with the folds of my center. She runs her index finger from my opening all along to my clit. I moan hard and she immediately pulls away.

'If you make any noise, I'm gonna pull away.', she says confidently.

'Shit. Fuck. I'll be quiet.', I give in. I'm craving her more than ever now.

'That's a good girl.', she purrs in my ear while slipping her middle finger in my center. I'm biting my lip trying to make no sound, but it's hard. Sasha picks up her pace and I can't hold in the small whimper that escapes my mouth.

'What was that?'

'N- nothing, oh my g- ah! Fuck!', I moan as she slams two fingers in me at the same time.

'I told you not to make any noise. Now you've been a bad girl and do you know what they do to bad girls, Shay?', she asks in a tone so sexy I can feel myself dripping from it. I shake my head no.

'They need to be punished.', she states and turns me around so I'm facing the wall.

'Arch your back.', she commands. God, shit, that's so hot.

I feel her hand trailing down my spine, down to my lower back and over my ass. Without a warning she slips two fingers inside of me and I gasp loudly. I grab the wall to hold myself up.

'Say my name. Tell me how bad you want me.'

'Shit, Sasha, I need you. Please, fuck me.'

I hear her laughing in pleasure, I think she enjoys this as much as I do. She goes harder and harder every time and I feel my ass jiggle each time she slams her fingers all the way in. I can feel my orgasm building up.

'Fuck, baby. Don't stop. Don't stop.', I beg.

I can feel her reach my G-spot and the pleasure that it gives me is indescribable.

'Right there, yeah, Sasha. Fuck.'

'Do you like that, baby girl?', she asks. I'm not even able to answer her, I'm too busy gasping for air.

She's now slamming her fingers inside of me so fast, it nearly pains me. I can feel I'm so close.

'I'm close, shit, don't stop.', I scream.

I can feel her biting my shoulder and this is what sets me off. The pain of the love bite mixed with the pleasure make my walls tighten around her fingers as my eyes roll back in my head. It's silent for a few seconds, the only sounds you can hear is my gasping and the water from the shower that's still falling on the ground. I'm not able to breathe for a moment. When that moment is over I let out the breath I was holding and my chest is heaving. I close my eyes, trying to make my head stop spinning from the amazing orgasm I just had. Only Sasha can give me that. She slowly slips her fingers out, making me jump up a little. She gently turns me around again and I look into her blue eyes.

'You've been a good girl for me, princess, but there's only one thing you need to do for me.'

'Yeah?', I breathe out, still not fully recovered.

'Open your mouth.', she commands.

I open it and she puts the fingers who just were pleasuring me moments ago in my mouth. I know what she wants me to do and I start to lick them clean. I moan from tasting my own juices and I see Sasha smirk. We're still making eye contact.

'Good girl.', she says while pulling her fingers out my mouth.

'I am for you.'

'Mhm, yes you are.', she says before kissing me. We stay like that for a while until she breaks the kiss.

'See you around', she says. Before I can even process what just happened she's gone already. I'm completely star struck. I have a feeling this won't be the last time we will be doing this.


	3. dinner for three?

**Okay, okay, I know I've said I'm definitely making this a two shot, blah blah blah, but my friend and some of you convinced me to make this a full story so I'm doing that. This chapter is a little more emotional/ has more feelings involved/is fluffier so I hope you'll like it! But there isn't a lot of Sashay in this chapter, just a warning. By the way, this isn't really realistic though, I mean I don't imagine Shay acting like this but whatever. Oh, and I'm sorry for any mistakes. Have a nice day, lovelies. x Tess**

It's been three weeks since she broke up with him. Three weeks. And I still haven't had the courage to say something about it. But then again, how could I? Every time Sasha and I had a moment like in the showers, she runs away as fast as she can. It makes me think that it has something to do with me, am I not good enough for her? But why would she break up with Hudson? She said she wanted to be just friends with me – well something a little bit more than that, but still. I don't even know if she ended their relationship for me, maybe there's even someone else. I hope not, I don't think I'll be able to handle seeing her with someone else but me. It makes my heart ache just by thinking of it and I start to feel this empty feeling in my chest again, like I have no emotion at all, but every emotion at the same time. I know Hudson really loved her and he was good guy, so that made it a little easier for me, but it still sucked. After all I only want Sasha to be happy and if she is happy with another person than me, then so be it. But I swear, if she was dating me, I would treat her better than all those stupid boys she's dated. I would treat her like an actual princess - the princess that she is. I would take her out on nice dates, not caring how much money gets spent. She's worth every single dollar I own – and even if I say so myself, that's a lot of dollars. I hear Sammy yell at me from downstairs and I wake up from my daydream.

'What?!', I yell at her, because I didn't hear her the first time.

'Shay, you better get your lazy ass out of bed and get dressed. It's boxing time!', she screams for the second time.

'It's fucking seven in the morning on a Saturday!', I yell back.

'Get over it, softie!'

Somewhere in me I was happy I could go boxing, to let all the frustration out. Some people write, some make music, some go hiking, but I box. I yell back that I'll be down in a sec and I sit up straight on my queen sized twin bed. I let my head hang down and close my eyes. Both of my hands find the top of my head and my fingers tangle themselves in my long, thick, dark brown hair. I'm still tired as fuck, I didn't get much sleep last night because I stayed up late thinking about Sasha again. After a short minute I realize I'm half asleep again and I get up before I fully pass out. I walk to my walk-in closet and pick out a workout outfit. I have about forty different pairs of gym shoes, so that's always a very, very, _very_ hard decision for me. Today I decide to go for my black Nike free TR 5's to represent my soul. Just kidding. I think.

'Do you want some of these blueberries?'

'Yeah whatever, just throw everything in the blender, it will probably come out OK.', I reply nonchalantly to Sammy.

'You're the queen of making smoothies, Shay.', she comments sarcastically.

'Oh, I know.'

'Shay, I swear if there was a human version of the smirk emoji, you'd be it.', she says, making fun of my smirk.

'That doesn't even make sense.', I laugh.

'Whatever.'

I sit down on the kitchen counter while Sammy mixes all the fruits she put in the blender.

'Hey, I saw you working out earlier, it was pretty intensive, wasn't it?', she asks.

'Yeah. I had a lot on my mind and I was just… letting it all out.', I say while I rub my neck. It's still a little sore from all the sit-ups I did.

'Shay. Tell me this isn't about Sasha again.'

Silence.

'Oh, my god! You seriously need to get over her!'

'Don't you think I'm trying?!', I say with an sudden angry tone that kind of surprises me, 'It doesn't really help that she's basically using me as a sex doll either! God!'

Mid-sentence I feel myself crying. I don't even know why. All the anger, all the sadness, I can't hold it in anymore. I look down at the ground and see my tears fall.

'Hey. Come here.', I hear Sammy softly say. I look up at her and her arms are opened and inviting me for a hug. I get off the counter and let myself be embraced by her arms. I rest my head on her shoulder and silently sniff every now and then.

'I'm sorry.', I mumble into her shirt.

'It's okay. Shh.', she reassures and she slowly rubs my back.

After a few minutes I'm calmed down and I pull away.

'How are you going to handle seeing her today if you're already a mess like this right now?', she says while wiping my tears off my cheek with her thumb.

'What do you mean?', I say cautiously, 'I don't have to work today, do I?'

I'm starting to panic now.

'No no, but the diner is today. You know, with the cast?'

I look at her with shocked eyes. Shit, I totally forgot that was today. Fuck fuck fuck.

'You didn't know.'

'No.', I say, fear very clearly readable from my face and the tone I'm talking in.

'How am I.. how am I going to be able to see her?', I say, my tears threatening to fall again.

'You'll be fine. We're just gonna make you look extra beautiful tonight so she'll be blown away by how pretty you are and she'll hate herself for not dating you already. OK?'

'Okay.', I sigh.

'I got to go now, Shay.', she looks on her watch. 'I'll be back later, yeah?'

'Yeah, okay. I'll be fine. Oh, and Sammy?', I ask.

'Yes?'

'Thank you.'

'It's okay, honey. Now go relax a little, get your shit together so you can show who's the real boss to Sasha.'

'Alright.', I say, 'Bye.'

'Byeee.', she half sings and walks out the kitchen door.

 _And now what_.

I decide to drink the smoothie Sammy just made and watch yet another episode of Orphan Black. Ever since Sasha and I watched to pilot together I've been obsessed with it. I sigh thinking back on that day. I think to myself: ' _Would I still have kissed her if I knew where it would get me, where I am now?_ ' Hell fucking yes. I would. As fucked up this situation will get, I will never regret kissing her. Ever. Suddenly the doorbell rings and Angel jumps up and when I look up she is already running to the door.

'Ange!'

I manage to keep her in the living room while I slip out to open the front door. I wonder who it is, but I look like shit so they just have to deal with that. _Click._ I pull the door handle and I look who decided to come visit me on this day.

'Oh hi, Troian! I didn't expect to see you here.', I say surprised and slightly confused.

'Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and I thought I'd surprise you. I brought donuts.', she says raising the box she's holding.

Then she looks down. I first don't realize what's wrong so I look where she's looking at.

'Oh, uh. Yeah uhm I was just- never mind come in.', I say trying to hide the embarrassment, because I am wearing my pizza onesie. Yep. I don't really care, though. It's not like she didn't know from the existence of my eternal love for pizza already, right? I step aside so she can come in and I close the door behind her.

'Hey Angel! Hey baby!', I hear Troian say in a baby-voice from the living room.

I walk in on her petting Angel and I smile. I love dogs, they have no worries at all. They just lay around all day, being lazy. I wish I could have that.

'I was just about to watch Orphan Black, we can still watch it?', I half ask, half state.

She agrees and while she takes off her coat I start Netflix and check my phone. I see Ashley tweeted ' _Excited to see my baby shaymitch today xx #ButtahBenzo'_ and I sigh. I forgot about the dinner for a second.

'Are you gonna bring Patrick tonight?', I ask Troian. Patrick Adams is Troian's fiancé and he's in LA this month, so I already know she's gonna bring him, but I just want to start a conversation to keep Sasha off my mind.

'Yep,', suddenly she's smiling really brightly, 'he is my date.'

 _Obviously._

'Speaking of, everyone has a date except you!', she laughs at me.

At first I laugh too, but then my smile fades away when I realize what she really said.

'A- All of you?'

 _Please, no. Oh, god, no._

'Yeah, Lucy's bringing Anthony, I'm bringing Patrick, Ashley's bringing Keegan-'

'Keegan?! When did that happen?'

'Easy. I was gonna say _as friends_ , just let me finish.'

Sometimes her stubbornness really annoys me.

'And then we have baby Sasha.', she says and looks at her phone.

My head pops up and suddenly my pulse is racing.

'Does she- does she have a date as well?'

I try to play it cool, but it's hard. I hope Troian doesn't notice it.

'Yeah, she's bringing that new co-star, what's his name again?'

I don't say anything.

'Oh yeah, Travis.', she says like she's not interested, probably still too distracted by her phone.

She looks at me and I try my best to look happy for her. Eventually I manage to do so and gladly Troian doesn't realize my smile's fake. Out of all people, all people on this world, she chooses him! That sexist fuckboy! Now I'm even more looking forward to that amazing, shitty dinner. Jesus Christ. Just at the thought of them together I want to puke. I already nearly did when I saw them acting, but when it's not acting… I didn't even realize I was balling my fists. I look down at my hand and my knuckles are turning a light shade of yellow. I quickly stop before Troian sees me. I try to act as cool and relaxed as I can throughout the episode of Orphan Black, but deep inside I want to kill a person. Travis, to be precisely. When the episode's over Troian says she needs to head back home because she hasn't picked out an outfit yet. Of course.

'See you tonight.', she says and then hugs me.

'See you tonight.', I repeat and hug her back.

'Don't worry about the date thing.', she tells me. I'm shocked for a second. Does she know about Sasha?

'What?'

'The fact that you don't have a date but everyone else does?'

'Oh that. No, that's okay.' _Phew_.

We say goodbye again and I walk her to the door. When she's finally gone and after I've closed the door, I let out a long sigh. I walk back to the couch and lay down. Angel comes over to me and climbs on the couch too. She silently lays down and sighs. After minutes I feel myself slowly drifting off into a deep, peaceful sleep. My last thought is that I'm just gonna go to that stupid dinner and act like I don't give a shit. Sasha and her new love can fuck off. My eyes slowly close and my problems fade away.

'Shay? Shay, wake up.'

I feel someone shaking me and I slowly open my eyes. At first the bright light hits me and I rub my eyes.

'Wake up. You have to get ready.'

'Sammy? What time is it, how long did I sleep?', I ask with a raspy voice.

'A few hours. You need to be ready in a hour and a half.'

'What?!', I say, quickly sitting up. _Ouch my neck._

'You heard me right.', she says, 'Now hurry up and get dressed, the makeup artist will be here in-', she looks on her horologe, '15 minutes.'

'Yes, ma'am.', I joke and she playfully pushes me.

'Are you going to be alright, though?', she seriously asks me.

'Is this about Sasha? Then no, I don't think so, but I'm gonna try my best to look like I am.'

'Okay. Just call me if something happens.' She gives me a sympathetic look. 'But now you really need to go change, I laid the dress on your bed.'

'Thanks.'

And there I go, hurrying upstairs and ready – or not so ready - for what's about to happen this night.

An hour, a few layers of makeup and a shit ton of Sammy commands later, I finally sit in the car, driving to the restaurant. I am extremely nervous and I haven't eaten anything since one pm. It's now seven pm. Since my chauffeur is driving me today, I close my eyes to calm down for a second. I seriously don't know if I'm going to keep my shit together when I see _them,_ but I'm just gonna try. Just count to ten and forget that they're there. A Lana Del Rey song is playing on the radio and I look out the window. I see yellow street lamps flashing by every second and I'm mesmerized by the beauty of the pink sunset that's happening in the sky right now. If someone asked me what my favorite place is, I would say this is it. I don't like the big parties and celebrity stuff, I actually just like silent places where I can be myself. Like this. Throughout the whole drive I stare at the sky and I just forget everything for a second. But then the car stops and every memory comes back to me again. My nerves are killing me at this point.

'Here is it.', I hear my chauffeur say.

He speaks in a thick Russian accent so he pronounces the i's as ee's. I never noticed until now. Wow. I thank him and get out the car. I straighten my dress – it's long, black and my shoulders are bare – and I look up. In front of me I see hundreds of Christmas lights. The restaurant looks cozy, yet very chic. I walk inside and the smell of fresh baked food and all sorts of herbs hits me hard. I like it, though. I see Marlene standing on the left, in front of a big table and she waves at me. I wave back and walk over to the table. I quickly check if Sasha's there already. Gladly, she's not.

'Shay, over here!'

I see Ashley has saved a seat for me right next to hers.

'Hey!', I say loud enough for her to hear me over the people chatting and laughing.

I sit down next to her and start talking about small things with her. You know, the weather, how nice this place is, what we're gonna eat. Stuff like that. I didn't even realize the happy couple walked in while I was so busy talking to Ash. I look over to my left and the first thing I see is Sasha in a beautiful silver colored dress. I'm speechless. The dress shows off her curves and throws light on her prettiest features. She is stunning, it's like the world has stopped and everything is moving in slow motion. I can't take my eyes off her. Then she catches me staring at her. We make eye contact for maybe half a second, but I quickly look away. Her and Travis sit down on the seats in front of me, but not immediately, they're sitting a bit more to the left. Now everyone's here. We're waiting for the waiters to come get our orders and I'm trying _so hard_ not to look at, you know, _them._ I can't control myself and I turn my head. I catch them just in the act. His hands holding her cheeks, like I did, a couple of weeks ago in my dressing room. This kiss is even more gross than Alison and Lorenzo's. When they pull away he runs his finger over her cheek and smirks at her. I can't take this, I feel like I'm gonna be sick. My head is spinning and I have the feeling I can gonna break out in tears any moment. I excuse myself from the table and sprint to the toilets, bumping into a few people on the way.

'Hey, watch where you're going!'

I don't react and keep walking to the bathroom. When I'm finally there I look under the stalls to check if no one's there. To my relief there's nobody and I lean against the wall, now letting the tears stream down my face. I thought it would be easier, but I was wrong. Boy, was I wrong. My body slides down and I'm now sitting on the ground. My sniffs and gasps for air are suddenly interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening. I look up to see who came in and I start to laugh. How ironic.

'Just who I wanted to come after me!', I joke sarcastically through my tears.

'What's wrong?', Sasha asks me and starts to walk over to me but stops when I start to yell.

'What is wrong?! What the fuck is wrong?!', I can't play nice and I'm not even going to try at this point. I stand up so I'm face to face with her. So she can see every emotion, every tear.

'Well, let me start at the beginning. We hooked up, you ran away leaving me question what I had done. Then you occasionally hook up with me again and tell me not to mention your now ex boyfriend's name, which gave me hope of actually having a chance of being with you. Then you run away every time. Then you fucking break up with your boyfriend and let me think that you did it for me, but then you actually didn't do it for me, but for _Travis_.', I emphasize the Travis.

'Oh, and also not to mention the making out in front of my face. Thanks for that.'

My sadness is now all replaced with anger. I see Sasha's expressions change and that makes me think that she's about to start a rant, too.

'Okay, to clear this up. I fucking ran away each time because I couldn't admit to myself that I have feelings for you! I told you not to mention Hudson just for the reason you wanted me to! I brought Travis to let everyone think I didn't actually wanted to go with you! I only hooked up with you because I wanted to act like I only cared about having you sexually, but in reality I want more than that. I want you to be mine, but I was scared to admit it!', she fights back.

Tears roll down her cheeks and her breathing is hard.

'I only want you to be mine.', she repeats, but this time in a softer way.

I don't even say anything. I walk over to her and slam my lips on hers. Fireworks explode all inside my body. This kiss isn't like the others, no. This one has feelings, passion. No lust. Only pure honesty and love. It feels like the kiss lasts forever and I am enjoying every moment of it. I feel my hands in her hair and her hands find my hips. When we pull away to catch our breaths from the breathtaking kiss we shared, we lean our foreheads together. My eyes are still closed and hers too. We both smile.

'Mine.', I whisper just loud enough for her to hear it.


	4. Drunk In Love

**Hello, hello. Tessa is here again with a new chapter, I hope you still like this story? Well, whatever, I decided to make this chapter in two parts, this is the first part, of course. I tried my best for this one and, yeah, I hope you'll enjoy reading! By the way, excuse me for any mistakes.**

 **Have a nice day/evening! :)**

Sweaty bodies are dancing too close to me and I feel someone grinding against me. His big hands grab my waist and I yell above the loud music that he needs to leave me alone. I smell and taste the alcohol in my breath and I cringe. I've never liked it that much, just the effect on me. After the dinner Sasha, Troian, Tyler, Lucy, Ashley and I decided we wanted to get drunk, to celebrate uhm… yeah, no, we don't really have a reason we just wanted to get wasted. So we went to a club. The rest of the night after the bathroom-argument went… great, actually. I thought it'd be more awkward, but Sasha and I shared secret glances every once in a while and I would catch her smiling at me every time. Speaking of Sasha, I just see her walking over to me with, again, two drinks in her hands. As she comes closer my smile gets wider and wider. Her face reflects mine. The eye contact we have is unbreakable. It's unbelievable how happy I am at this moment, and to think my night could've gone so much different.

'Hey, you!', I say happily as Sasha hands me the drink.

Before I can even react she pulls me in for a kiss. I kiss back. I close my eyes and enjoy this moment for a second. I sigh into the kiss. Then I realize we aren't alone and I pull away as fast as I can. It takes a second before she opens her eyes and she looks at me in confusion.

'Sasha, have you lost your mind?', I hiss.

I quickly glance around to see if our friends didn't see us. Gladly I see no one I know.

'Oh, come on. It's just a kiss!', she says and starts giggling. From that and from the somewhat distant look in her eyes I can tell she's a little drunker than I am. Oh, boy.

'I love this song!'

She probably doesn't even know this song, it's a weird remix-y kind of stuff. Suddenly she grabs my arm and yanks me even more into the mass of people. The sudden move makes me drop my drink, but she doesn't even notice, she's too busy bouncing her head to the music. She starts to dance dangerously close to me and at first I want to back away, but seeing everyone around us is dancing like this, I let her. Her hips grind against mine and her arms fold around my neck. My eyes are never leaving hers and it feels like we are the only people on this world. My hands hold her waist and we dance like that for what seems eternity to me, when it's actually just three songs or so, and then I faintly hear Ashley yelling from the other side of the room.

'Yeah, go get it, Troian!'

That draws my attention and I turn around to see what is happening. Oh, my god. There I see Troian dancing. On top of the bar. Her moves are very, how do I say this… sensual. I go there as quick as possible, to get Troian off that thing. She's gonna hate me now, but she'll thank me later. I grab Sasha's hand and drag her with me like a child, there's no way in hell I'm gonna leave her alone on that dance floor with all those perverts around her. When we've finally arrived at the bar, I grab Troian's leg in an attempt to get her to stop. It doesn't work, though. She looks at me and she seems to be annoyed by me, obviously.

'Troian, come on!', I try to yell above the music that has now started to play again. I try to grab her leg again but she's not having any of my shit.

'Fuck off, Shay! I'm just having fun! Wooooh!'

There's now two guys that climbed on the bar and started dancing around her. I can't stand to see how they're touching and eyeing and I climb on the bar as well to get her the fuck off.

'Hey, baby.', I hear one guy say. I look at him and he's checking me out and he has a filthy smirk on his face. God.

'Fuck off.'

I grab Troian and pull her on the ground with me.

'What the fuck?'

'Troian, you'll be grateful I did this tomorrow.'

Lucy and Tyler are here now too and I tell them we need to go home. Tyler isn't as drunk as the rest either, like me, and he agrees. After a lot of moaning from the others, we eventually get them to come with us anyway. We decided they can't go home alone like this, they can't even walk straight. Tyler says he'll take Ashley and call Patrick to pick up Troian. That leaves me with Lucy and Sasha, okay I can live with that. The ride to my house is silent, Lucy fell asleep and Sasha is playing with my hand in her lap.

'You're so cute.', I tell her.

'Huh?' She looks up at me with a confused puppy look. I think she didn't hear me because she was too concentrated playing with my fingers.

'Never mind.', I laugh.

As soon as we arrive at my house I wake Lucy. We silently walk inside, I don't want to wake Sammy or Angel. Lucy goes straight to the guest room, she has been here many times so she doesn't even ask. But it's Sasha's first time being here.

'Your house is huge.', she says in amazement.

'Oh, it's okay. It looks bigger than it actually is.', I deny, 'Do you want some water?'

Maybe that'll make her a little soberer.

'Yep.', she says and sweetly laughs at me, a laugh that makes her dimples show. She's so innocent. I wonder how long that will last.

'Oh, my fucking god. Where the fuck did you get that?', I ask surprised.

'Doesn't even matter.', she smirks and looks me dead in the eye.

We're sitting on my bed, I'm wearing black panties and a T-shirt. She has the same. While she still looks straight in my eyes, she slowly slides a little, pink _vibrator_ out of her handbag.

I'm sitting on the side where the pillows lay, my knees draped on my left. Sasha is sitting in front of me and she mirrors my exact position. Her cheeks are a little flushed, I guess it's because of the shower she just took. Her hair is still a bit wet, but not drained. I just blow dried it for her. She's not as drunk as she was earlier, so she knows exactly what she's doing, gladly. In front of us are now laying the vibrator she just took out her bag, a dildo and a pair of handcuffs. They're all three the same dark pink color. I look at Sasha with a folded brow. My eyes are asking the question my mouth is afraid to ask. She gets the hint and starts talking.

'I brought you some toys, Princess.', she says and she flutters her eyelashes sweetly. 'I decided we're gonna play a game tonight.'

'Oh, and what kind of game?', I flirt back, with as much confidence as I can.

'Oh, it's simple. There's only one rule.'

'Yes?'

I am starting to get curious now.

'I am going to make you cum as many times as I want and you are not allowed to do anything about it.'

She says it in such a seductive voice, I feel myself getting wet already.

'And- and what if I do?'

'Then I'm gonna have to punish you. And we don't want that. Do we, baby girl?'

I let out a shaky breath and prepare myself for what is gonna happen tonight. Then Sasha leans forward and she grabs my chin with her right hand. Her lips merely brush against mine and I try to lean forward, to fully connect my lips with hers, but she pulls away. I open my eyes and the first thing I see is her smirking face.

'Are-'

'Shh.'

She slowly pushes me back on the bed and she follows me by climbing on top of me. Her knees are on either side of my hips now. I feel the tips off her hair brushing against my stomach as she pulls her body forward so her head is on the same level as mine. Her warm cheek is touching my cheek and it feels like electricity. I suddenly feel her biting on my earlobe and I let out a small whimper and close my eyes. God. She sweetly kisses my cheek and her blue eyes look into mine.

'You're stunning.', I hear her say.

'Thank you.', I whisper.

I swiftly pull my shirt over my head and Sasha immediately grabs the opportunity to hold my hands together above my head. Before I can even process what's happening, I hear a soft click. Cold metal touches my skin. Oh my, fuck she cuffed me.

'Now, you're all-', she kisses just below my ear, which makes me close my eyes, and she continues in a slow, low voice, 'mine.'

Her mouth kisses down to my collarbone and she starts sucking on it. Hickeys, Sasha's specialty. As the minutes pass by, her mouth goes lower and lower. I have a feeling I'm soaking my sheets, but at this point I don't care anymore. It sucks that I can't touch her, I can't trail my hands over her body, but all I want is for her to touch me now. Then I feel her grabbing my hips with both hands and she flips me around. I'm now laying on my stomach.

'Sasha, what are you doing?'

'Shh.', she shushes me.

I feel her hand brushing my hair to one side and a wet kiss is placed on the top of my back, right on my spine. She kisses all the way down to my spine, to just on my tail bone. She goes as slowly as she did with my stomach. I moan into the pillow when she touches the spots I'm most sensitive at. The last part she licks with just the tip of her tongue, barely touching my skin, but enough contact to make me groan and let my breathe go out of control completely now. Her hand rests on my lower back and I hear her turning on the vibrator. I swallow.

'Oh, fu- oh. Oh sh- shit.'

I try to concentrate on articulating the right words, but it's hard as Sasha is now slowly sliding the vibrator up and down my panties.

'You're soaked, baby.'

That makes me produce a new flow of my fluids and I feel my panties getting _wetter, and wetter and wetter._ Then I feel her hands hooking the sides of my underwear, and she gently pushes it down my legs. Now, the vibrator is making direct contact with my oh so wet center and I make a squealing, moaning sound. Sasha still keeps sliding the pink toy up and down in such a slow, torturing tempo, I can't take anymore. I literally feel myself dripping.

'Sasha.'

'Yes, love?'

'I need you in me.'

When I haven't even finished the sentence, she slips her index finger inside me.

'Ah, fuck.', I moan.

Her finger slowly slips in and out, in and out. Soon she adds another finger and I feel myself coming close.

'Sasha, I'm so close.', I say with my eyes closed.

'Already?'

As she says that she picks up her pass real quick and I feel her fingers curling, they're now touching my G-spot. That does it to me. A rush of adrenaline and pleasure hits me from the top of my head to my toes. My back is ached, my ass is pushed upwards - since I'm still laying on my stomach. My walls tighten around Sasha's fingers and she moans together with me, enjoying the feeling of me dripping my juices all over her hand.

'Oh, fuck.'

When I finally am calmed down a bit I ask if Sasha can let me go now.

'Oh, but honey, have you forgotten about the game? This was just number one...'

Oh, my fucking god.


End file.
